Beware of Cribbage

Matt and me Florida

Beware of cribbage.

It can break a marriage in two.

Yep, that card game with the pegs. It’s divorce material.

Especially when you don’t have the directions to play.

My husband said lets just figure it out as we go.

My heart began racing. We needed a game plan, some kind of direction.

He said, we don’t need directions, let’s just play.

But, what if we do it all wrong?

How can we do it wrong if we don’t know what we are doing? Just enjoy the game!

But how can we enjoy the game if it’s not really the game?!

You get the point, and it just got worse from there.

Now, almost 17 years after the “cribbage incident”, we are still married. Happily, even.

In all that time, one thing hasn’t changed a bit. I still want directions, and he still wants to just go with it.  What has changed, is that we’ve learned how to strike a balance and make it work for us.

As most couples who have been married as long as we have, we’ve been through stuff.

Job changes, the high-risk pregnancy with our twin girls, the shock of being told our son has Down syndrome, and a whole bunch in-between.

Receiving the news that our son has Down syndrome hit our marriage hard. We both handled this news in our own very different ways.

My immediate reaction was to get information, make a game plan. I went out right away and found a support group, enrolled our son in Early On, read lots of books, and began to advocate for him.

My husband stepped back from all this and tried to process what this all meant for our son and our family. He was taking it one day at a time.

We were back to our stalemate in the game of cribbage, and the balance we had built over the years was knocked on its side.

What my son needed was what we both had to offer. He needed support and services, and he also needed us to take things one day at a time.

He needed our balance back.

It took some time, and a few bumps and bruises, but we found our way and pulled it together. In the process, being knocked off-balance resulted in us building a foundation that is stronger than ever.

Now, 6 years after the birth of our son, there is little that could put a crack in the foundation we built together.

Except maybe cribbage.

Beware of cribbage.

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