Katherine 1-2013

We all have fears and lost dreams. The beauty of it all, is we have something called an imagination, and we can always dream up new ways to achieve our dreams or create new ones.  Yes, fear is paralyzing and holds us tight to where we are, but think about all the times you have faced a fear. Its one of the hardest things to do, but also one of the most freeing feelings in the world once you’ve found your way to the other side of it.

Most of us have experienced a change in our lives that has thrown us off balance and flipped our view of the world so its all cock-eyed. It takes a lot of work and re-thinking on our part to get everything looking straight through our eyes again.  And, while some of those changes fully challenge us to our very core, and may bring us to our knees, once we’ve moved forward and created new dreams for ourselves, we come out stronger and more compassionate. Or, we can hold fast to those old ideals that don’t work for us anymore, not admitting that this cock-eyed view needs some realigning, refusing to change and come out cynical and bitter. The challenges that hit us may not be our choice, but how we handle them always is.

A lot of parents experience a big shift in their world and immediately get that cock-eyed view when they are told their child is not “perfect.”  All at once, all those perfect dreams you had for your child aren’t going to work the way you imagined and you have been put on the Tilt-a-Whirl.  Its ok to spin around on that Tilt-a-Whirl for awhile…you have have been hit with a big change in your life and everything is spinning and its hard to find a good time to get off.  We can get used to going around in those same circles, but if we want to get anywhere, we have to get off and get started dreaming up new dreams, and experiencing new experiences.  Dreams die hard, so its not easy, but giving life to new dreams can be just as exciting if you let yourself.   And what’s really interesting, after we have experienced that fear and have moved past it to create new dreams, we have the Superman x-ray ability to see that old fear in others.  For those of us who have kids with special needs, we see that fear coming out as an educator not being understanding and accommodating, peer bullying, a relative ignoring our child, strangers staring and making rude comments, you get the picture and its not pretty.  If we haven’t faced our fears, and created new dreams, we can not help others around us get over their fears.  When we help the educators, peers, relatives and strangers understand our new world, they, too, can become more compassionate and understanding to our child and others who have “differences”  by doing their part as a proactive educator, a friend, a caring relative or a stranger that gives a kind smile, which all supports our child in living a productive life. And this is true across the board with whatever challenges you have faced…once we are given or give an education of what its like to walk a day in someone else’s shoes, we all become more compassionate and understanding human beings. I don’t know about you, but over and over, I’ve experienced the compassionate route leads to a lot more joy and advancement than the cynical and bitter route.  When we are firm and handle things in an educational manner, people are much more receptive than if they are attacked in a mean and bitter manner.

The best way of learning is teaching ourselves first, and then teaching others what we have learned. And when we teach others, we always learn something new ourselves. Funny how when you help others, you end up helping yourself, as well. That is a healthy, forward moving circle unlike that crazy Tilt-a-Whirl that goes nowhere.  I don’t like the feeling of getting dizzy…and the older I get the less I like it, so I try my hardest to get off that Tilt-a-Whirl as soon as I find myself on it. The older we are, the more time we’ve had on this earth to receive and face challenges, but that experience is worth its weight in gold. When I was younger, I would not have thought strength and compassion would go so nicely together, but I am finding the more compassionate I am, the stronger I become.

All the best,



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  1. Trackback: Miss Crabby Ass

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