Equivalent Thinking Will Only Get You Equivalence


(Photo of Wil and Miss Theresa)

Wil is 6 today!!! This little bundle of joy is full of not only life, but life lessons.

Wil’s hugs are first on the list of life lessons. He literally melts into you, and no matter how busy you are, or how late you are running for an appointment, a hug from Wil has the power to make time stand still. You want to soak it up for all its worth, because it is so comforting and pure. And as much as you want to soak it up, you also want to give him all your love back. And that’s all he wants, to give and receive love. That’s the beauty of simple kindnesses and love, as much as you want to bask in it and revel in it, you also want to give as much back. It expands on itself, and its not a finite resource…we have the capability to give, receive or withhold has much as or as little as we want.

Most of us share an “equivalent” kind of thinking…if I give you this, you give me that. That is fair trade, and in the world of business it is an understandable way of thinking. But if we lived in a world ruled by Wil, everything would be out there for the taking. No tit for tat, just here it is, take it, its yours. The only thing Wil asks for is your respect and kindness back. The big difference between giving a kindness and giving a material possession, is if you give a kindness, you get it back a hundredfold. Its not fair trade. It grows and expands on itself, there is no limit.

Think of a time you gave a gift freely to a charity or a friend in need. Even though you gave without any expectation of return, you are filled with a sense of gratification. Material items bring us a certain level of comfort and happiness, but when you freely extend a kindness without any expectation of something in return, it finds a way to come back to you. Its not a direct trade like material items, but you do receive kindness back in some form, and its always more than you have given. You may not receive it directly from the person you gave it to, but if you approach things from a level of kindness, you surely will receive kindness back.

Where we get stuck in this “kindness trading” and Wil doesn’t, is the expectation of something in return for our kindness. Once that expectation enters the equation, we’ve put a box around it. It can not expand because we already put a label on what we want back. If we don’t put a box around it, kindness comes back to us from infinite places. This cosmos is an interesting place, and its really good at keeping us on our toes. But there is a method to the madness…I don’t know the reasons or how it works, but the kinder I am, and the more open I am, the more kindnesses I receive and the more open people are to me. I am not speaking of naivete, I’m speaking about being aware of our surroundings, but viewing life as a friendly place. There are hard spots in life, and people who are cruel, but the more you view life as a friendly place, the more friendliness you find. Wil is a perfect example. He simply goes about his business, not “trying” to be kind, he simply “is”, and its amazing how he brings out the “friendly” in people. They can feel his pureness of heart. If people feel that in you, they are more likely to return it. It truly is something that expands…the more you give, the more you receive.

Most of you reading this are well over the age of 6, and have many more responsibilities in life than a 6 year old. So, pulling out the “friendly” and “kindness” within us can be difficult at times. But, like anything else, it is a habit. The more you do it, the more it will come naturally. And the beauty during this habit-forming process is, you will start seeing the benefits of it, and the habit will become much easier to solidify.

Stay open to the possibilities, give of your kindness freely to everyone without expectation of return, and it will come. You will feel better by simply being in this state of mind. I know this from observing Wil. He doesn’t try to be kind, he just is. Having Down syndrome, he has low muscle tone and cognitive delays. He doesn’t always keep up with the other kids in class, and that could really get a person down. But he goes about his business working hard, and finding joy in just about anything. Of course, he has times where he gets frustrated and will plop down on the floor in defiance. But, then he will be reminded of something fun he gets to do after he finishes his project, and up he’ll pop to finish his project. That’s how we need to view things. If life gets hard, and we aren’t getting the results we want fast enough, then its time to focus on some other thing that brings us joy so we can have a lighter heart and the energy to finish our task. Staying open to the brighter horizon allows us to summon up the positive emotions that will lead us there.

This is your first kindness lesson for the day…hum or sing a Happy Birthday tune to Wil today. Send those happy words out to Wil with a smile and love in your heart, and it surely will come back to you a hundredfold. And, don’t forget to treat yourself to a big piece of birthday cake!

All the best,


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kodiak My Little Grizzly
    Feb 06, 2013 @ 03:39:42

    He is so sweet!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: