Are You Being Honest With Yourself? Like, Deep Down Honest?

 

Are you being honest with yourself? Like, deep down honest? No comparisons with anyone else, not blaming anyone else or anything, just being honest with who you are and who you want to be?

When I find myself in blame or saying someone or something is holding me back from reaching my full potential, if I dig deep enough, I find that I am the problem, not anyone else. I am not asking for what I need, I am not doing what it takes, I am not taking the steps that need to be taken.


No one is to blame for not reaching my goals but myself. There is always, always a way.


Maybe getting there is not taking avenue that I envisioned, but if I am truly and brutally honest with myself about what I want, all those excuses, reasons, and blame fall away, and I begin to see new avenues to get there. I find that even though there are things and people who throw challenges my way, I can see my way through them, and I will get there if I only discipline myself to stay focused.


The truth is, no one has any power over your mind and your actions and reactions but you. Once you are truly honest with yourself, you will see your excuses for what they are, and other people who stand in your way are simply fearful because of their own internal dialogue and it really has little to do with you, and once you realize this, and discipline yourself to stay trained on your focus, but flexible in your approach, you will gain a freedom and inner joy and courage that simply can not be attained when hiding behind your reasons.


Get honest, drop the excuses, create a fantastic week for yourself, you deserve it because YOU ARE FREAKING AWESOME!!!!!  

View and share this post on my website: ChristieLeighTaylor.com christie 5

Advertisements

How To Have a Stress Free IEP (& Low Stress Life!)

Image

How to have a Stress Free IEP:

Step One: Maintain positive expectations.

Whoa, wait! What if I miss something if my head is in the clouds with positive thinking? There is so much to think about and worry about! If I’m not on top of this, who is going to be? That may work in your world, but not mine!

That would have been my response several years ago. Three kids under three, one with special needs, and I was fueled by stress. Stress was working for me, it kept me up and running, and on top of things. Until one day, I bonked!

I just broke down and cried one day but I didn’t know why. I can do this, I can handle it, so why am I crying? What is wrong with me? I knew all this stress was taking its toll on me mentally and physically, and I knew I needed to make a change, but I didn’t know how. I was scared that if I let go of the stress, I would miss something critical. I needed to stay on top of my son’s needs to give him the best opportunities in life. If I let go of stress, wasn’t that being irresponsible?

One day, while at the library with my kids, I happened upon one of Dr. Wayne Dyer’s books, “The Power of Intention.”  I remembered reading “The Road Less Traveled” way back on my pre kid working days, and really liked the spiritual aspect of it. So, I flipped through this book and found it very easy to read, and very uplifting. I decided to borrow it, and was soon hooked. This book was exactly what I needed, and I went on to read many more of his works.

I learned that I couldn’t wait around for things in my life to change. I had to change my thinking in order to change my environment. Holding on to blame, anger and stress, no matter how justified, was only holding me back from receiving the positive results I desired.

Replacing stress and anger with positive expectations is not easy, but I knew if I continued to hold on to stress, it would continue to decrease my quality of life, and eventually lead to serious consequences with my physical health. So, even though every day it is easy to fall back into old patterns of stress, I know that if I make the effort to change my thoughts to those of positive expectations, the results will always be worth the effort. I have found the best way to maintain a positive mindset is with meditation.

I now meditate for 20 minutes at a time, and it zips by, but it didn’t start that way. I decided to start meditating for 2 minutes at a time, and this is how: Sit upright, close your eyes and take deep breaths. Count your breaths as you inhale slowly, hold your breath for a beat, then count as you slowly exhale. Do this for a few moments until all you think about is your breath. You will have thoughts that enter your mind as you are doing this. When they do, do not give them any emotion, simply observe that they are there, then visualize them floating away on a cloud. It’s important not to give your thoughts any emotion, good, bad or otherwise. Simply watch them float away. (I was always nervous I would fall asleep, so I set an alarm and that allowed me to relax)

When you have successfully reached a point where you are only counting breaths with very few intruding thoughts, bring up a picture in your mind of the IEP (or the situation that you are feeling stressed about). Visualize yourself smiling and satisfied with the results. Don’t worry about the details of how you got there, just imagine all is positive and you are feeling satisfied. Now that you have that mental picture, internalize those feelings of well-being. If that is difficult, remember a time when you felt all was well and going in a positive direction. Let those wonderful emotions flood your body and sit with them until you feel enveloped in them. Now visualize surrounding everyone in the situation with love. Yes, even that person you can’t stand that always seems to be standing in your way and blocking your success! Any anger and blame you hold will be blocking you from the positive results that you desire. Remember, this is for you and your child, not for them, so go ahead and do it! Surround every single person involved with an aura of love. Watch all the stress, anger and blame evaporate as everyone is enveloped in loving feelings of good will.

Slowly open your eyes, but remember that feeling and that picture. What is important now is that you maintain those feelings as you go about your day, no matter what should unfold. If a stressful occurrence happens, simply excuse yourself to go to the restroom, outside, or anywhere you can have a few moments of privacy, close your eyes, and bring back those positive feelings.

I’ve found, whenever I let go of the stress of the details, and hold the feeling of a positive result, the IEP goes amazingly well, and things happen I never would have planned myself to bring about a positive outcome.

This does not mean I sit around with my eyes closed and hope everything works out for the best. Quite the opposite. When I maintain this positive mental image and state of mind, people are more cooperative and more willing to help me, and new opportunities present themselves that I act on.

This has worked so well in having successful IEPs for my son, I’ve extended this way of thinking to all areas of my life. If I find myself angry with someone or filled with stress about something, I close my eyes and surround this person with love, or visualize myself smiling that the situation worked out. I don’t think about the details of how it came about, I simply visualize being satisfied with the end result. Then, I go on with my days, maintaining this positive image. It’s not always easy when there are bumps in the road, and that is why I read a few spiritual passages every day and meditate to keep me on track. I have found this effort of maintaining a positive state is always worth the results.

Raising a child with special needs is a very rewarding experience, but it can be filled with a lot of unpredictability which can lead to high stress levels. This is one way I’ve found to be very effective in reducing stress and bringing about positive results, and I share in hopes that you will find it helpful, as well.

All the best,

Christie

Here is today’s post on my other blog, Journey to Self Compassion. This topic is one of those things that sounds so easy to do, but is one of the most difficult. Yet, to change outer circumstances in your life, you must start with the inside… Be well! 🙂

Your Soul is Calling…Are You Listening?

Link

October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month – Day #15

IMG_7246

How can you promote acceptance and awareness?
Share your stories, the good times, the sad times, all of them. They matter. Without them, we are left alone with our misconceptions.

Image

October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month – Day #14

IMG_1774[1]

How can you promote acceptance and awareness?

Be patient with me….I can do the same things as you, I just need more time and may learn a little differently.

I’m a visual learner, so flash cards, books, and visual demonstrations give me a better understanding (My sister, Katherine, is great at giving me visual examples to help me with my homework!)

Image

7 Ways to a Happy Ending

IMG_1533

Who doesn’t love a good Cinderella story? We all want a happy ending.

But, we are really good at getting in the way of our happy endings and crush them before they even have a chance to develop.

Why?

Because, we try to control every detail of how the ending will get here and how it will end. When it doesn’t happen the way we want it to, and it rarely does, we get frustrated, lose hope, and declare that happy endings are only in fairy tales.

Not true! Happy endings are very real, and happen every day!

We may not have a fairy godmother to zap all our troubles away, but we do have something else.

Control over our emotions.

Instead of controlling how our happy ending will get here, we need put our focus on controlling our emotions. Only then will the red carpet roll out for us to walk right into our happy ending.

Here are 7 steps to walking right into your happy ending:

1. Let go of the anger and stress toward a situation or person(tall order, I know, but this isn’t about who is right or wrong, it’s about a happy ending for you)

2. Let go of the specific way you want a situation handled. Focus instead, on how you will FEEL when it’s resolved. Let the peace, contentment and happiness flood your emotions. If you are doing this right, your heart rate will increase with the joy of it.

3. Whenever thoughts of the situation or person rise up and bring stress, and they will, excuse yourself for a moment, and conjure up feelings of being free, content and joyful that you practiced in #2.

4. As you lie in bed every night, just before sleep, imagine that all the conflict is over and you feel content. Don’t think about how or why, just let the feeling of contentment wash over you. You will rest peacefully and your subconscious will be alert to solutions.

5.  Once you have been able to control and release your stress with 1-4, stay alert to people or situations that can help you. Stress blinds us to this help, and it’s almost miraculous in the ways people or situations show up in our lives once we let the stress and hatred go.

6. Once you see a door open, or are given a helping hand, give thanks for it, accept it, and follow through with it.

7. Allow yourself to have a happy ending. Believe in them. They never fail to grow bigger and better once we release them of our control.

It takes a great amount of discipline to bring feelings of peace and contentment into our hearts when we are feeling great stress and pressure. And, I don’t know if it ever gets easier, but I know that it is always worth it.

Every single time my son has an IEP(goal setting meeting), or we have a change in status with school or his health, my first instinct is fear, worry and stress. But, I know how important it is to spend the last 10 minutes before sleep laying in bed and relaxing my body.

I picture myself very happy and pleased with the outcome. I go to sleep with that picture and let the contentment wash over me. My heartbeat picks up and I actually start to feel excited anticipation of the great things to come. I don’t try to control how it will happen, but I have a knowing it will happen for our greater good, and I send up thanks for that.

I stay alert to people or situations that can help me. When I see them, I take action, and invariably, a situation will end better than I anticipated.

As one brief example, a mistake was made during Wil’s summer school. I was very concerned and upset about it. After I had time to cool off and take a step back, I realized that if I came at this from an angry perspective, it would have put people on the defensive and turned into a blame game rather than resolving the issue. No happy ending.

I laid down in bed that night, and it took some time, but I was able to let the stress go and picture myself content with a feeling of peace and the issue resolved.

The very next morning, a school administrator was standing right outside of Wil’s classroom. Now, this is summer, so administrators are not normally wandering the halls (door to happy ending just opened, so I walked in!).

It being summer, the administrator also had more time to talk, and was not harried with the multitude of items typically on their school year schedule. We had a great talk about my concerns, and not only were the issues handled, I also received positive assurances about other things I had not even asked about. Happy ending!

I could go on to list many more examples, and of course, some issues take longer to resolve than others, but there has never been a time this has not worked for me.

And, hey, if anything else, relieving yourself of stress is good for your health and well-being. We all know the havoc stress can create with our minds and in our bodies.

Be good to yourself, and treat yourself to a Happy Ending!

All the best,

Christie

Yet another “Dear Offensive Person” blog letter?

IMG_1352[1]

There are a lot of letters being blogged these days, especially from us parents of kids with special needs:

Dear ____

You offended me and you suck.

Here is a list of reasons why you suck….

Sincerely,

Ticked off blogger

These letters are easy to read and get a point across. But, lately, every single letter I’ve read is a list of complaints about someone and how offensively they behaved.

Believe me, I get it. I’ve seen and heard people be rude, quick to judge and speak before they think. And, it sure can be therapeutic to vent it all out in writing.

But, in advocating for my son, I’ve always found letting people know what I do want, rather than what I don’t, to be more effective. So, I will jump on the bandwagon with my version:

Hi there,

Ahhh, you have not had much experience with children with special needs, have you? Yep, thought so. That’s ok, this is your golden opportunity!

Wait, don’t walk away, just humor me for a moment.

You think my son’s singing is strange, but it keeps him happy and occupied while we shop.  Wil, what are you singing?

“Old MacDonald!”

Surely, you know Old MacDonald. Now listen to him singing again. You hear it?

Funny, but I bet you are in a better mood right now than you were just a few moments ago. Ha, thought so!

Believe it or not, your life has just been changed. It’s as simple as that.

So many things can look and sound strange to us, but if we just take a moment to try to understand, we’ll realize that we know the same tune, we just sing it a little differently.

I appreciate your time, you can get on with your day now.

Oh, and you are welcome!

Sincerely,

Wil’s mom

Previous Older Entries

%d bloggers like this: